rambling thoughts on 2012 (also iphone cases)

i can't believe 2013 is tomorrow. this past year has been ridiculous and insane, and i can honestly say that i think my life only gets better and better as the years pass, so i can't wait for the next one.

how was your christmas? basically, i was spoiled - austin and i got new pots and pans, a crock pot, and his mom made me a huge, pretty, yellow quilt. is it just me or do quilts immediately make you think of the future? all i could think about when i opened it was that we were going to have it forever, and how exciting that is..

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i had these grandiose plans of sharing some of my favorite texted-to-becca outfits of the year that i never shared on the blog, because most of them were on days that meant a lot to me, but.. my phone is no longer sending out anything. kind of. sometimes it does, but mostly it doesn't, and pictures are in the ~never sent~ category. bummer.

anyway, one thing that this means is - new year, new phone! so, i spent most of last night eyeing new iphone cases, even though austin is trying to convince me that i need an otter box.. ew. these are my top favorites, share some of yours with me?! i only looked on etsy, because mindless clicking sounded nice yesterday, but i'm sure i'll end up getting obsessed with having a new case every day, so. i think i'm sucking it up and buying a new phone tomorrow..

lady gaga drama

beetlejuice (aka, this is probably the one i'm going with..)

color block

deathly hallows

i don't even really know how this turned into that, but i think i'm going to head into work early anyway.  i need to spend more time with my computer in 2013, i think.. i miss blogging (outfits more than anything) and reading blogs.

happy new year !! xo

reasons i cannot wait for christmas

so i guess it's pretty obvious that this weekend had me giving up on radvent. i liked doing it a lot, but working 3pm-3am kind of messes with a blogging schedule. ;) i'm hoping to get back to it, at least during the weekdays, but we'll see.

i've been really in the christmas spirit lately, which is kind of out of the norm for me. christmas has never been one of my favorite holidays, but i literally can't wait for it this year. i think a lot of it has to do with how excited i am to shower everyone with gifts and love. :)

austin's been really awesome about going along with my really silly whims this year. last week, we went to see the decorated trees at hotel roanoke (i'm going again this week with kendall, avery, and grandma, hopefully). on friday night, we went to the downtown christmas parade. it was overall really silly, but pretty cute, and i'm glad we did it.

this weekend, however, drove home the real reason that i can't wait for christmas: for it to be over. working at the mall has some serious benefits and some off seasons, during which i'm sure to complain of boredom. but, right now.. i just want to kick everyone out. my manager has walking pneumonia, my coworker just came down with what seems like her 5th cold of the season, and i'm crossing my fingers that what i'm battling right now isn't the flu. our bodies are revolting against not only the hours that we're working, but also the stress that comes with people's attitudes during this time of year. for some reason this year seems worse than last year? but i might be wrong. all i know is that i'm glad i finished my shopping, and that people need to grow up. please, if you're out shopping (or out doing anything), remember that people are people - no matter what they're being paid to do for you, they deserve to be treated with respect. i've seen customers yell at 17 year old girls for following store procedures, i've been cussed at for not having any boxes, we've had customers roll their eyes when we tell them that, no, jeans are not part of our 40% off sale BUT EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE STORE IS. i think it all came to a head last night, when, (tmi alert:) i was running back to the bathroom to puke every ten minutes and a customer i rang up said: "you look awful. i bet you're getting sick. i've had a headache all day, so i can totally understand. i have to keep shopping, you have to keep working!! keep it together!" uhhhhhhhhhhh. yeah. it just gets old, being treated like trash day in and day out. i know it isn't going to go away completely after this shopping season, but i also know that it isn't going to be anywhere near as concentrated. kind of unrelated, but, can i also vent about employees not showing up or asking to have their shifts changed 30 minutes before their shifts start? ldjoifjifjf;kr. i'm sorry. i'll stop.

but hey! becca will be home tonight and i get her for like, a month. and she's going to work with me! and i randomly have remicade on austin's birthday so i get the day off to spend with him (post my post-remi nap, obviously). there's cool stuff happening.. i just have to remember that the next time i'm gritting my teeth through a smile at a dramatic person. now, i'm going to go back to sleep. maybe i'll be back later with a radvent. :) <3

radvent, days 12 & 13

well, i dropped the ball. i just wasn't feeling inspired. and then one line from meg's post stood out to me and all of a sudden, i was. idk. but i said from the beginning that it's whatever, i'm not going to lose sleep over making these posts.

radvent, day 12: acceptance

for me, this subject is about accepting that people are going to be themselves, no matter how much i wish i could change them or help them fix their flaws. without sounding like a know-it-all, i guess. at my last job, there was this weird clique of people who were not going to let me in, regardless of how well i treated them. one in particular kind of seemed to make it her goal to make me miserable, either by lying to me, lying about me, or just plain being mean to me. i constantly wanted to point out to each one of them just how back-stabby (to one another, even!) and cliquey they were in every way, but i didn't.. because i'm pretty sure they knew, and it's just how they chose to be. in my life, i'd work forever to get rid of that aspect of my life, but i think they enjoyed it. this is an extreme example, but it's kind of the best and quickest way to get to my point - people are different because they choose to be, and you know what? that's awesome. i shouldn't feel the need to "educate" or change every person i meet. i'm not saying that i don't feel like it's important to share opinions where you may see fit, but i am going to work on my overall acceptance of others. like the one time that my dad and i legitimately screamed over how stupid i thought twilight was. i 100% felt as though i was in the right, but he (and several of our loved ones who may or may not have been in the room...) enjoyed them! so honestly, who was i to get on my high horse? shoulda just ~accepted~ them.

day 13: making

i think i've slacked on my creative side over the past couple of months. in my defense, i started a new job and then all of a sudden i was working holiday in one of the busiest stores in the mall. i'm hoping to find some time this weekend to make a couple of ornaments and maybe even pull out my sewing machine (gasp).

short and sweet and to the point. <3

radvent, day 11

radvent, day 11: rejection

i really like this topic, but am kind of nervous about where to go with it, because rejection is this really universal thing that no one ever talks about. who hasn't felt rejected? who hasn't made someone feel rejected? i'm pretty confident that both of those things have happened in my life.. probably even in the last month or so, unfortunately.

i often feel rejected by friends, coworkers, family, and even customers. i usually assume that they aren't meaning to, because i know how hurtful i can be without realizing it. this month has been pretty rough for me, because work is soo stressful, customers are soo intense, and everything comes out a little more rough than maybe intended. it doesn't help that i'm the #1 biggest baby in the world and take ev-er-y-thing personally. i have this really stupid thing where, if someone hurts my feelings, i latch on to that situation and remember the situation basically forever. honestly, i've gotten better about this (and probably chosen my friends a little more carefully) in my old age, but it still happens from time to time.

there are times when i'll say something, or "covertly" roll my eyes about something, not even considering for a second how that would make someone feel if they saw it. which sucks, and i'm not proud of it. i'm trying really hard to be a nice girl these days, because i just don't think snark is cute on me. this isn't to say that i don't participate in gossip or whatever, because i mean.. i know gossip is a part of life and it's a girly, silly thing. however, if it becomes hurtful, i'll try and cut it out. i try to remember how i feel in rejection situations and treat everyone the way that i would prefer to be treated.

i find myself laughing at a lot of jokes that i don't think are funny, because i like the person that said them, and because i would hope someone would do that for me. sometimes i feel like ~the weird girl~ because i'm kind of nerdy, i don't drink, i'm extra shy all of the time, and small talk isn't really my jam, so feeling rejected is probably a thing that i reflect onto myself. i have a feeling that it has way less to do with others, and more to do with me.

meg made a really awesome point about trying to not care about not being liked. i think that's an integral part to growing up, and i'm starting to really, reallly try to work on that aspect of my own personality. i like who i am (most of the time), so if someone else doesn't, why stress over it? you know. meg says it better than i do, and has a twitter example that i totally relate to only not via twitter, you know?

i think this is the most that i've written on a subject thus far, which is nice. i have been meaning to make these a little more serious and intense. i could probably continue on about rejection, but instead i'm going to go to the grocery store. ;)

radvent, day 10

radvent, day 10: family

i have kind of already discussed the importance of my family during day 1. i think, in part, falling in love with austin and us creating our own little family (of the two of us, haha) has shown me how much i love my family, too. especially my sister. the two of us have grown so much in the last couple of years, and our relationship has shown the growth. she's one of my best friends, and i would've never thought that was going to happen five years ago. our friendship has been one of the most important to me for the last year or so. i'm so excited that we've regrown our bond.

radvent, day 9

radvent, day 9: advice

i'm more for taking advice than giving it, to be honest. i hardly ever feel like i'm in a position to give advice, unless it's to lindsey about ~boyz, in which case i'm perfectly qualified. ;)

there are very few decisions that i make without asking for advice. not because i'm indecisive or have a hard time living life or anything, just because i really like opinions and i think other people are the best learning tools. if that makes sense. it kind of sounds rude. but whatever - most of the time, people can give you insight that you otherwise wouldn't have thought of. i love it. i love talking to anyone and everyone about things, especially if i'm having a rough time with a big decision. in fact, when i was trying to decide whether to take my current job, i think i discussed it with just about everyone that i came into contact with.

basically, my advice is to take advice. all the time.

radvent, day 8

source

radvent, day 8: saving

for the first time in my whole short adult life, i am living pretty comfortably. i know that since i've said this on the internet, i'm going to all of a sudden get a dramatic bill that i wasn't expecting (isn't that a weird adult thing that strangely actually happens even though it seems impossible when parents say it???), but whatever. i'm comfortable. i can usually get what i need and what i want these days.

the problem with feeling comfortable is the fact that i'm overly comfortable and i pretty much get myself whatever i want. which is so stupid and i need to stop all that. i've been calculating a pretty rigorous savings plan for myself, one that i'm going to start in january (new year's resolution lol).

meg's point about how reading blogs makes you think you need to buy, buy, buy is a valid one. seeing pictures of beautiful homes, cute outfits, and picture-perfect lives can kind of make you feel like you need all of that, at once. but it isn't necessary and i'm hoping to get better about realizing that.

working in retail makes it hard to remember when to just. stop. buying, too. i obviously want to wear the clothes so that i can sell the clothes, and i know that i'm getting a good deal on quality clothes with my discount so it's like not aaaaas big of a deal but these are exactly the kinds of excuses i should probably stop making for myself. if i refresh my wardrobe with a couple of items a season, my basics will carry me through. ..instead of buying errythang all the time. you know.

i've gotten better the past couple of months, because i stopped buying things for myself and just focused on all of my favorite people instead. ;) so, the real test will be january - when i'm feeling extra wealthy with nowhere to put the money (except for in my savings account).

over the last week, this radvent subject has been the one most relevant to where i'm at right now. i've been thinking about it a lot lately, and i think it's time to get serious about saving. ;)