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Friday, June 29, 2012

water fights and iced lattes

one thing that i hope is super obvious about me these days is that i take my role as aunt REALLY seriously.. i love little avery so intensely, and i want to make sure that she knows it. even if she's only 13 months old. i think this blog is at least a percentage dedicated to her, because i love having a little timeline of her growing up.


this is why, on every one of my thursdays off, you'll find me with kendall and avery for at least a few hours. today, i happened to arrive to their house right as they were filling up avie's tiny pool. i didn't bring my phone or my camera outside, which was a good thing.. because it turned into a full-fled water fight. i ended up soaking wet, even though i tried hard to stay out of it :( . in these pictures, i was wearing my sister's hoodie and a pair of her boyfriend's boxers while my clothes were in the dryer, haha.

this baby is so funny. her attraction to cell phones (all she does is hold them up and pretend like she's talking to them), her aversion to doing basically anything by herself, and her teeth-baring laugh make her one of my favorite people to be around.

luckily, i like my sister a lot, too. ;)

after i left kendall and avery to their naptime, i met my friend caroline at the coffee shop down the street. caroline is bekuh's and my favorite model for the button factory (tied with kendall, of course), but she and i realized recently that we never hang out. it was so nice being able to sit down and have an uninterrupted conversation with her about all kinds of things. i can't wait for more adventures with her, she's the sweetest girl.

i just really love days off! and making new friends! and that sweet lil baby. i'm glad i had such a relaxing day off, because i'm sure this weekend (my last at my current job!!) is going to be just a roller coaster of emotions. <3

Thursday, June 28, 2012

the end of the beginning

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this week i got the news that i've (seemingly) been waiting a month for, and i'll be starting my new job this monday!

although i am SUPER excited and, honestly, super relieved to be leaving my current position, i can't help but be a little bit sad. i'm a terribly sentimental person, who attaches importance to EVERYTHING. this was my first management position, and i learned a lot while in it. i'm thankful for the opportunity i was given (i know that the company took a chance hiring someone with no management experience), and know that i would not have gotten this new job without it.

i can see myself in this field for a long, long time.. what i'm learning is especially coming in handy for my future with the button factory. :) i've really learned how to be and how not to be a fair, understanding, and professional leader, and i can't wait to take these skills to my new job.

it's just all so bittersweet, but, needless to say, i can. not. wait. it's going to be challenging, rewarding, and a totally different experience.

thanks for all the well wishes back when i first mentioned the interview. :) <3

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

redecorating

since our roommate moved out, austin and i are living completely, actually on our own for the first time ever. lately, that's just meant that we're incredibly lazy and leaving our shoes and belongings in rooms that used to be shared with other people.. but i'm hoping to change that.

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i've never actually been able to pinpoint my own personal interior design style, but something really clicked when i saw rachel's dining room tour. we don't have a dining room (nor do we really have a need for one), but i think i can use inspiration from this throughout my house.

i have some serious plans for the personal photographs and pretty prints from etsy in our room to be spread throughout the house. i'm mostly just excited to start scheming, because we'll probably be leaving this house when our lease runs out in a few months, and i'll get a fresh new start.

1. penmanship pillow/ settle down
2. custom doily blanket/ willow
3. salt and pepper shakers/ anchor
4. shooting target/ jack rabbit
5. coasters/ bear rug
6. custom painted record/ lyrics
7. vegan antlers/ i haven't actually decided on colors!

i've already started a tiny collection of home-goods-i-gotta-have on etsy, and as you can see, my taste is sort of all over the place. but i'm hoping it'll all come together somehow.. eep.

are there any incredible room tours that i need to see? i generally avoided them, so it's like this whole new world has opened up. <3

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

stay awake through summer like we own the heat


it has been sooo hooooot this week that i haven't even wanted to get dressed. i read that weather across the country has been above the 90s all week.. but of course everyone probably thinks it's worse where they are. ;) at one point this weekend i was actually grateful that i was going to work inside the well-air conditioned mall for most of the day. i turn into such a toddler when it comes to being overheated. luckily, i have this easy to wear, thin linen dress. full disclosure: i wore the scarf because my hair was looking a little silly at the ends, haha.


ok, boots probably seem like a ridiculous thing to wear while complaining about stifling heat, but i swear these are incredible. i don't have to wear socks with them, and they're pretty baggy, so they breathe really well. honestly i will probably praise these boots until they fall apart on my feet. i'm so obsessed. i'm about to buy another pair of minnetonkas.. they'll be pair four, and i can't get enough!

sunglasses: some random mall cart.. they always sucker me in with their 2 for $10 sales.
scarf: american eagle
dress: aerie (this is a similar style & it's on sale)
belt: american eagle (similar)
boots: minnetonka (they're restocked!)

since we've been taking these pictures in front of our house, we get kinda jumpy and giggly when neighbors come outside. thankfully, we have friendly, hysterical neighbors and they'd probably take it in stride. the other day, austin was outside reading, and overheard a woman talking to her toddler daughter: "get back here! you gotta cheek hangin' out of your pants! you wearin' a baby thong!" ahhhhh, hilarious.

<3

Monday, June 25, 2012

greasy fast food dates


austin and i really like sonic. i like their burgers, he likes their hot dogs. i like their strawberry limeades, he likes their ocean waters. sometimes they have half off milkshakes and we both really like that. so, on saturday night, we parked my car, rolled up my windows, turned on the ac and radio, and ate in the drive-in. :)


we've actually been listening to the radio all weekend. since we have totally different, rarely overlapping tastes in music, we're kind of picky and weird about what we listen to in the car together. the radio provides a third party that chooses the music for us. :)

stations programmed in my car: the local standard pop music station, a country station (i know, i know.. but it's so fun sometimes!.. especially 70s-early 90s country), a classic rock station, an oldies station, the kind of "easy listening" station that i think plays at my mom's work, and a local station that plays more contemporary music. we had fun singing along and making fun of some of the more classic songs. we even had a bohemian rhapsody moment (all i could think about was wayne's world)! since the dvds that play at my job sometimes include really new pop music that i'd never hear otherwise, i had fun introducing austin to one direction and never shout never. even though i think we sometimes get caught up being a little bit snobby with the music we listen to, it's fun to just.. let music be fun. one of my most recent favorites is justin bieber's "boyfriend." :)

do you think you turn your nose up at the radio, or do you prefer how much fun it can be?  i'll probably go back to my ipod shuffling tomorrow, but austin and i might stick to the radio when we're driving around together from here on out. there's just something that screams summer about driving around, listening to the radio. <3

Friday, June 22, 2012

happy weekend!


i'm so excited for this weekend. our temperatures this week have been in the 90s, so i haven't actually felt like getting off of the couch after i work, but this weekend includes my sunday off, and i plan on using it. :) there are some estate sales to attend and some serious hanging out with my boyfriend to be done.

i also think i may hear back on the news i've been waiting for.. :) and if i do, i might do a little tiny bit of celebration shopping. here's what's on my list:

1. a new keychain. if i get a new job, i'll get a new key.. and that calls for a change in keychain. right now, i'm carrying one that i got at target almost 2 years ago, and it's gotten a little dingy. i'm excited for change!

2. a pretty necklace. i love virginia. :)

3. a giant dwarf crown. i think this one would go perfectly with my style and my blonde hair. and who doesn't dream of owning one?

4. a handmade turquoise ring. i've had this on my wish list for.ever. i even told austin i would love for it to be my engagement ring, but i think he thought i was kidding. :) it's about time i own a pretty ring that won't turn my finger green!

and here are a few links i wanted to share:

austin does gift exchanges on reddit all of the time, and i get just as excited as he does to send and receive the surprises! so when i saw that oh, hello friend was doing a lovely package exchange, he encouraged me to sign up. i'm SO excited! have you seen any other package exchanges around? i might become addicted..

i've linked to sometimes sweet before (and i do her currently posts fairly often), but i had to link to this post. i am not religious, but i love talking religion with people, and hearing what they believe in and why. i've even been known to tag along to churches with friends. i think it is sometimes really taboo for "nonbelievers" to discuss their opinions, so i think danielle was brave to share hers. the quote at the bottom is beautiful, and resonates with me. the whole thing resonated with me.

i loved the pretty cookies in this post! read all the way to the end.. the last cookie is my favorite. :)

this is one of my favorite lists-of-things-to-do-instead-of that i've ever seen! i'm going to try and finish the majority of them. :)

this looks perfect and refreshing for the heat we're experiencing.. maybe i'll make it on my sunday off?!

<3

Thursday, June 21, 2012

little girl bookworm

last night, austin and i tried to watch a weird movie version of a wrinkle in time, and although we didn't even make it like 45 minutes into the thing, i couldn't help but start reminiscing on all of my favorite books from elementary and middle school. i'm thinking about maybe rereading some of them, and wanted to make a little list here. i'm starting with the earliest books that i remember absolutely loving and going in chronological order (as best as i can), ending with a series of young adult novels that i actually finished in the last year or so. ;)

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i was obsessed with this book. i read the four sequels, even though i remember not quite grasping some of the concepts (i read this in 3rd or 4th grade.. i think). i remember thinking meg was so cool, because i've always loved girl heroes in literature. and since i didn't read much science fiction, every aspect of this book seemed so weird and different. although the movie kinda blew (since we were watching it via netflix, i didn't actually know that it was made for tv until like 30 minutes in?), it only made me want to reread the book (maybe all five of them?!) even more.

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i read holes around the same time that i read a wrinkle in time. it takes itself a lot less seriously, so it's a more fun read, even though i remember being super on edge the entire time (haha, a worrywart from the beginning!). it's a really cute story, with a sweet ending. a funny movie was made of it.. i still remember all of the lyrics from the theme song? ohh geez.

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this book is insane, and i actually reread it all of the time. my copy was given to me in a book trade with some childhood friends, and it doesn't even have a cover anymore. it's about a wizard who holds a competition to find the most evil witch to become his wife. i don't even know, i'm obsessed with this book. no one ever knows what i'm talking about when i bring it up, haha.

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my sister and i LOVED this book. i think i even reread it a bunch of times when i couldn't sleep while i was in high school. it's really sweet, kind of a retelling of a classic fairy tale (cinderella, probably?). it's such a quick and fun read, i might just pick it up tonight. oh, and this one was also made into a movie, but kendall and i both agreed that it wasn't great.. it was nothing like the book.

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i think i loved this book for the same reason that i loved a wrinkle in time.. kit was such a strong female character. it starts out as she's orphaned, and then ends after many accusations and hardships towards her. i cried myself to sleep the night that i finished this one.. for good reasons! actually, i'd probably cry if i read it tonight. it's a classic for a reason. and, as far as i know, there has not been a movie made of this one.

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i probably read this when i was too young?, but i'm glad that i did. it's intense, but so is middle school, right? i probably cried through every single page of this book, and i think that was probably its point. melinda just starts out so pitiful, and the book is almost excruciating. i remember forcing kendall to read it (and catcher in the rye) when i was old enough to feel like i could make her read things. ;)

oh also it was made into a lifetime movie. that's actually pretty good and heart wrenching. and stars kristen stewart.

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sarah dessen was actually one of my favorite authors in middle school, but i remember this book the most. i think it was because it's about a girl who's soooooo against love, and i totally thought i was above all of that. kendall and my copy of this book was torn to shreds by the time we moved out of our house, i think we may have actually just thrown it away. i may have to restart a little sarah dessen collection. :) oh, and no movies have been made from this book, but two sarah dessen books were combined to make the mandy moore movie, "how to deal."

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and this is my favorite young adult fiction novel of all time, in conjunction with the four other books of the jessica darling series - the last of which i found in a goodwill last summer (i hadn't known that it existed!) and devoured in like 2 hours. i feel like i literally read these five books over the course of ten years.. it was like jessica and i were growing up together. the books start when she's around 16 i think? and end when she's about to get married. ughhhhh i just love them and could talk about how much i love (and hate) jessica darling and marcus flutie for like ten hours. AND I HEARD THAT THEY'RE MAKING A MOVIE OF SLOPPY FIRSTS. omg.

this is really long and kind of embarrassing because i promise i was (and am!) reading really intense literature that you don't find in the young adult (or even children's chapter books, in this list) section of barnes and noble. i will forever have a soft spot for all of these books, though.. and they'll probably never leave my bookshelves. one day i'll start doing lists of my favorite fiction novels, but these are worth some reminiscing over! :)

have i missed any that you loved? i think this may have started a weird craze in me, add some to my list! <3

ps, in case you noticed this glaring absence: i purposely left off one of my all-time favorite authors, even though she writes young adult fiction, because i'm planning on rereading all of her books and hopefully being re-inspired by her all over again, so i want to give her blog posts all to herself. francesca lia block, anyone? xoxo

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

i'm obsessed with emma stone

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is it possible to not love this girl? she always seems so positive and self-confident (but not egotistical). i just loved these pictures when i saw them on tumblr, and had to share them.

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i'm really excited for the new movie she's in with ryan gosling, and for the new spiderman (against my better judgment). when i first got my hair dyed from black to blonde and added straight-across bangs, a picture of her is what i took to my hairdresser. :)

i just think she's so stinking cute. <3

Monday, June 18, 2012

this weekend


on friday night, austin and i took ourselves out on a good old fashioned date. it'd been awhile, so we went all out. started with a huge dinner, then a little walk through target (mostly to stock up on pre-movie candy.. shh), then to the movies.

we went to see prometheus, which was ridiculous and i loved it. i wasn't expecting to like it even a little bit, but i really did. it was the perfect way to decompress and get out of my own head for a little bit. i should let austin pick movies more often. ;) also.. every time i go to the movies, i get so sucked in to all of the trailers! i guess that's the point, though. i'm SUPER excited for frankenweenie (i have a little thing for frankenstein-related books/movies/art) and the new quentin tarantino, django unchained. and apparently also every other movie advertised. :)

other than that, i just worked this weekend. i'm still waiting for the official news on my new job, so i feel a little bit like i'm biding my time.. or like i'm in limbo. it's getting rough, day after day, so i'm hoping for news soon.

on that note, my sweet boy just got home with a surprise (it's ice cream!) for me. :) <3

Friday, June 15, 2012

what i do when i have the house to myself

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austin's family got some pretty awful news today, so he's spending his night with them. when i'm home alone, and a little on edge from rotten news, i get kind of antsy. i tried to make positive use of my alone time, by washing the dishes and moving some things in my room around, but then i remembered something my friend jenn told me earlier this week: there's a taylor swift documentary on netflix.

i LOVE taylor swift. jenn and i used to work in an office together, and from the day that "speak now" came out until we thought our coworkers may murder us, we played it.. on repeat.. really loudly. constantly. taylor swift is probably number two in my imaginary list of concerts i would like to attend (the white stripes is number one, and well..).

anyway, i watched that, cried a little, and now i'm rewatching some girls. then i'll probably watch gossip girl while i eat dinner. i finished "the year of the flood" last night, and haven't picked my next book.. so why not veg all night? mostly i wish austin could be here so i could comfort him, but i know he needs his family/his family needs him right now.

also, here's what i did today:
avery on her cellphone, new shorts, avery's bracelets & her lil grin

i've also been all over the internet tonight, so i have some things to share:

i love this outfit that kaylah at the dainty squid posted.

color me katie is another one of my favorite blogs ever, and i loved her most recent post.

back in february, bekuh and i foolishly made plans to see moonrise kingdom THE DAY IT CAME OUT, but obviously it only came out in nyc and la. it still isn't out here, so little peeks like emily's descriptions of the imaginary books in the movie are getting me even more excited!

little posts like this make me really excited to get married (one day).

i'm really obsessed with this etsy store, especially this dress and a few others.. (i've only favorited about ten).

love this sweet necklace. and this one. and also this one.

<3

Thursday, June 14, 2012

black, white, and coral


today is my day off. with my current job, i only get one guaranteed day off.. so i tend to overplan. :) i'm meeting up with kendall and avery, and then we're going to go have lunch with our mama. after that, i think we might head to the mall for some father's day shopping, and then visit my grandma. after that, i'll come home, meet up with austin, and head to a house show in blacksburg that his band is playing. i've never gone to a house show before (not really my scene, to be honest), so i'm a little bit nervous, but i've had to miss the last 4 of austin's shows, so it's time.


this is what our living room looks like, by the way. my dirty dinner dishes and all. ;)



necklace: locket given to me by my parents for my high school graduation present
dress: thrifted
sweater: kirra, via pacsun
bff cuff: pacsun (from becca!)
socks: ae
boots: doc martens eclectics

<3

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

i'm obsessed with this

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i'm definitely not the first person to talk about this show, but have you seen "girls" yet ? i'm beyond obsessed. i watched the first episode on youtube, but then didn't have any way to see it.. until now. hbo go came into our lives, and i've already watched every episode twice. it just resonates. i never find tv shows like that.

how can you not love them?
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there are times on the show that i actually think i lived, and i'm pretty sure that means lots of other girls have lived these experiences, as well. if you're a twenty-something female, i HIGHLY recommend checking this show out. austin is not a fan, so i'm not sure about the boys' opinion.

i've seen some controversial feedback, but i think maybe that's pretty standard with anything this realistic. at least, i think it's realistic?

either way, i took this silly quiz to see which girl i was, and, to my surprise, i was a perfect combination of hannah and marnie. i thought i'd just be a hannah. ;)

<3

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

handmade vase


this year for my birthday, my perfect best friend becca gave me a ton of sweet little gifts, including a piece of her ceramics work! i was so excited. i kind of wish that every single piece of dish ware i own is actually from becca, but that might be impossible.

on sunday, austin's grandma gave me these pretty flowers, and i was so excited to put them in this little vase.


can you see the faint little fair isle pattern she glazed on it? she's working on starting an etsy store, if i don't steal everything she makes for the rest of her schooling.

having super generous, artistic friends is so awesome. becca has sent me collages (a particularly good one of sarah jessica parker.. remind me to share it sometime), drawings (a john cusack portrait? can't wait to hang it in my new office), handmade postcards, and now a pretty vase. i want to work on keeping it full of pretty flowers year-round. becca spends most of her time at school in chicago, so seeing her work in little nooks of my house kind of rules.

<3

Monday, June 11, 2012

hard to wear dress


don't get me wrong, i love this dress. it's SO. HARD. to wear, but every time i finally put an outfit together around it, i obsess over it. last time, i wore it with my converse. ;) this time i wore it with brown accessories and my leopard print flats.


we went for a big lunch at austin's grandparents' house, cleaned out my car (i had so much button factory inventory in my back seats, we probably could've opened a whole other store..), and bought a replacement xbox, to watch netflix and hbo go (we don't have cable), since our roommate moved out last week and took his. pretty productive day off, if i do say so myself.

while we were at austin's grandparents', his grandmother complimented me, saying something like "i would never be able to.." and i assumed that she was talking about my dress. i went on and on about how hard it is to wear, and finally, she interrupted me and said, "i was talking about your floral tattoo!" haha, whoops. i think i will never get used to anyone over 25 complimenting my tattoos, but it was really sweet.


sunglasses: ae
necklace: gift from my dad for christmas
dress: jason wu for target
belt: ae
shoes: ae
(i used to work at american eagle.. can you tell?)

i'm really excited for this week. hoping to hear some REALLY good news! <3

Saturday, June 9, 2012

pretty things around the internet

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don't worry, this isn't another etsy dump of all of my favorite bunny-related finds.. :)
it's just a little link dump, of things i found too special not to share.

ray bradbury died this week. it's always rough to know how to react when someone you didn't know, but who did have a big impact on you passes away. i've read several thoughts on the matter recently, but i loved this one.

this was my old laptop's background for a time, and i keep running into it. since finding it, i've looked EVERYWHERE for both a 'capulet' and a 'pw' button.. romeo & juliet is one of my favorites, and pw are my pop's initials. anyone wanna help me out here?

sometimes i think cheesy amusement parks get a bad rep. i've been to dollywood 4 times now (i still really want to take austin), and i try to recommend it to everyone. now i'll start directing them to this.

i have to be pretty inspired by something to actually find a diy i plan on trying, and i plan on trying this, this, and this asap.

i'm always looking for new books to read.. here's a little list of some!

and, i just found this blog and i'm loving it.

<3

Friday, June 8, 2012

most eventful minor league baseball game.. ever

yesterday was one of those days that i wasn't sure i'd be able to fit everything i wanted to do in 24 hours (spoiler alert: i was right.. i couldn't).

because we're back to being a one car family, i had to wake up at 6:30 am to take austin to work. then i came home, showered, fretted over my appearance, and went to my in-person interview (supposed to hear back tomorrow.. fingers crossed!). then i went to visit my grandma, who just got home from a 3-week vacation in colorado, and my sister, avery, and eddie, kendall's boyfriend, stopped by there. we caught up and giggled with avery, and then i had to be on my way to pick austin up from work.

this is where we had to make some choices. there was a graduation party for my cousin, an on the cooling board show we really wanted to attend, and austin's dad had planned a little birthday celebration for his paw paw's 81st birthday at a minor league baseball game nearby. we love the salem red sox games and a grandpa's birthday just seemed to outweigh the others, so we made our decision and were on our way.

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we bought dinner and got comfy in our seats for a few innings, and then it started raining. hard. and cold. we heard some rumblings of the local news report which said the rain was going to be short-lived, so we decided to wait it out. every covered section of the stadium was PACKED. it's times like these when i remember just how tiny i am in comparison to a normal-sized person, and i get a little nervous (even though i had my cell phone - i also have an over-active imagination). i think it was like a 45 minute setback, but my internal clock is also a little over-active i think most of the time so who knows really but just picture a million people standing under little sections of roofed areas in cold rain for that long! wah.

so we finally get back to our seats (after we dried them off), austin's dad provided us with peanuts, and the game was getting kind of intense when.. the stadium lights went off.


that's what it looked like.

for a little bit, we hung out while they played silly songs (dancing in the moonlight) over the loudspeakers and had a picture of rick flair on the big screen. they eventually called the game, but not before the boys started throwing peanuts at people on the field. lots of giggles.

now that i'm home and in bed, i think we made the right decision about tonight. :) we'll get to use our tickets again, since the game was called early, and i'm excited to pick a night. minor league baseball games always have really funny theme nights (tonight's was the 80s). bingo night is my favorite, even though i'm really bad at it since i have no actual knowledge of baseball, haha.

<3

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

"if you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one."

yesterday i had an interview. it's for a similar position with a bigger company, working with products that i'm a little bit more passionate about. i'm really excited for what it could (hopefully!) mean for my future, and for what i could possibly learn from it to continue on in my hopeful career path of the button factory. if i scored well, i will have a final interview tomorrow! fingers crossed. phone interviews are scary stuff.. i never knew until today just how much i rely on people's body language in conversations. i need to know if you're smiling! all they (there were FOUR PEOPLE!! asking me questions) said in response to me was "awesome" or "ok, next question?" or "could you expand on that?" eep. frustrating stuff. i'm excited though, i think i'd be a better fit with this company.. i hope they did, too!

even though it's late, i wanted to share pictures of the outfit i wore so that i would feel confident and comfortable today (i took advantage of the whole they-can't-see-me thing). so, i used my webcam to document it.. i kind of love grainy webcam photos, to be honest. it may be that i hadn't owned my own webcam until a couple of weeks ago. ;)

without further ado, this is what i wore to have a serious talk on the phone. it's an outfit of most of my favorite things.


i really like wearing shorts in the summertime, which is totally weird because i'm not a huge fan of pants. today is shipment day at my current job, so skirts and dresses are absolutely out of the question, and i'm glad that i now have the option of shorts. :)


these are my FAVORITE favorite favorite favorite boots, of all time. this picture is awful but i feel like you can probably appreciate how perfect they are. anddd, since i know you're wondering who is on my cute tshirt (quite possibly my favorite thing that i own):


it's dolly parton! my post title is a sweet quote by her that i tend to repeat to myself.. i think i heard her say it on a late night tv show or read it in a book by her when i was really young. i LOVED (and continue to love) her, and my pop encouraged my love for her because she's obviously the coolest. it seems like the older that i get, the cooler she gets and the more i learn from her as a person.

can you tell how threadbare my yellow sweater is? eep. it's my favorite (this WAS an outfit of my favorites, i wasn't exaggerating!), and i need to replace it soon. any yellow cardigan suggestions? :)


necklace: CM via local honey
tshirt: curator via modcloth (i kind of want to buy a second one..)
sweater: american eagle, a million years ago
shorts: roxy via pacsun in the winter (they're corduroy)
boots: minnetonka via journeys

i'm going to spend the rest of my night planning my outfit for my (hopeful!!) in-person interview on thursday. :) <3

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

worrywart


i'm a worrier. i over think everything. i take things to heart, in a pretty serious way. the smallest little day-to-day events can become bigger and bigger in my head, until i go crazy over them. the worst part is, i usually know that i'm doing this to myself! so basically there's a running monologue in my head of: "omg i can't believe she said that, do i confront her, why am i still thinking about this i don't like her anyway, but i can't believe she said that! does anyone think before they speak anymore? i can't even look her in the eye, but really why am i still thinking about this.." and etcetera. i wish that was an exaggeration, only.. it's real. that's not even me referring to a specific situation, it's just a thing that happens in my head.. all of the time.

it's pretty hard for me to come back from the ridiculous spiral, because i take everything pretty much to heart (including an unexpected bill, a broken down jeep, or a comment from someone that hurts more than they know). sometimes it takes austin bringing me down to earth, sometimes it takes ice cream or shopping, but sometimes i just need to get. over. it. everything doesn't happen to attack me personally, as much as i'd like to talk myself into believing it.

i hit kind of a wall recently, where i cancelled plans with friends (times two!) because i was so stressed out over things that probably won't mean anything in a month or two. i can't lie, lying in bed watching trashy tv on netflix has been nice, but it was unnecessary. i need to stop focusing on the negative so much. it's going to be hard, i'm pretty sure that i've done this my entire life, but it has to happen. money isn't everything, and neither is pleasing everyone in the world.

i'm going to listen to the white stripes on shuffle and read some short stories.. you know, stuff that cheers me up. just wanna kick the anxiety out of my system. <3

Monday, June 4, 2012

trying to welcome summer


even though i'm now officially a documented summer-hater, i did a couple of things that scream summer on my day off this week. kendall has been taking little avery to the pool every day, and i've been soo jealous. i finally got to join them!


i love those sweet ladies. <3


(she had something to add to my conversation)

i stayed as long as i could, until i got a distressing call and had to leave for a couple of hours. it was probably just in time, though, because in those couple of hours, i got sunburnt. :( i really, really do not tan (if you can't tell..), my skin turns bright pink and then i go back to being stark white. i'm okay with it, because i'm going to have awesome skin in my later years, but the recovery time super sucks. you have no idea the amount of editing i had to do these to make me not look like a vampire.. and i still kind of do.

after i took care of some car business (that ran upwards of $150! - does anyone else think cars are the number one biggest waste of money? ugh), i met back up with kendall and avery, with kayla in tow!, for some frozen custard from a cute new place in town, chillypop.



she was clearly into taste testing everyone's custard.


obsessed with this picture.

by the end of it, my cone was perfectly avery-sized! the parlor was a tiny space, so the four of us kind of took it over while we were there. avery was acting like she owned the place. ;)


i have to be honest, if summer can keep offering up sweet get togethers like these, i might change my tune. <3